Last week’s Christmas celebrations had a wide range of emotions for me. At it’s best, I was savoring time spent with my visiting extended family (particularly two of my cousins whom I’m best friends with and rarely do we all get to be together), watching the excitement of the kids in the family opening gifts, and enjoying a delicious challah bread french toast breakfast Christmas morning. The worst: worrying over buying and finishing gifts last minute on Christmas Eve (I never seem to be able to learn from last year’s stresses), totally stressing out over my nephew’s stocking which I sewed incorrectly multiple times, and never eating the cider brined turkey I was so looking forward to (and invested so much time and money into). Yep, that’s right… no turkey. We listened to Emeril and took the turkey out at 160°, which we learned the hard way that it was still too early (but because I was frantically trying to sew a stocking, I wasn’t paying attention to the turkey and just told my husband to take it out). My Mom assured me to simply put it back in the oven at my mother-in-law’s house, but after it had been out of the oven for about 1.5 hours, it took forever to heat back up again and never reached 180°. I also forgot to bring more stock to baste with and the turkey began to dry out. At 8:30 pm when it was time for dessert, my husband and I gave up. I figured at least this weekend I could make turkey soup with it, keeping it out on the freezing cold porch, but thanks to Mother Nature it reached 50-55° on Sunday and it was not cold enough anymore to be safe to eat.
Going into 2010, I’m once again reminded that I am not perfect. Although I am quite the control freak as well as a perfectionist, I am human and we all make mistakes. Nothing can ever go as smoothly as we’d like, especially during the holidays. I’m an a true romantic with visions of Christmas being as beautiful as a holiday card: snow slowly falling and I’m sitting by a cozy fire, carefully and quietly stitching up a handmade gift while Bing Crobsy plays in the background as I soak up the warmth of the holiday spirit. This has never been the case, I don’t know why I continually think it will be. I need to remember that many of my projects have a certain amount of stress and frustration involved as I try to figure out (usually last minute) how to complete them. Life isn’t like Little Women where everyone sits by a fire, singing carols and giving simple gifts (with not a bit of today’s overcommercialized, guilt ridden “did I buy a gift for _____, because I can’t be caught without something for everyone”, holiday in sight). I had an inkling that it might not be the best idea to try a new recipe (a turkey, at that) on Christmas Eve, but figured I would have the whole day to cook away in the kitchen. I am a stubborn New England Yankee, liking to do things myself and trying to “do it all”, regardless of how much free time I have, and always wanting to make things from scratch (because obviously, homemade is superior to anything else – yes, I’m being sarcastic). What I’m realizing is that as often as my husband says it to me (and I usually tune him out only to be cursing out loud and begging for his help once I’m up to my knees) is that I spread myself too thin sometimes, and I’m hoping this is something I can remember and learn from as the New Year approaches.
Even though my turkey clearly won the battle, I ripped out more seams and restitched things more than I could count, and cursed the holidays while frantically cleaning and getting ready while already being late, there were successes. I managed to bake four types of Christmas cookies (which I received many compliments about, which helped to fix my bruised kitchen ego), finally and successfully finished my nephew’s stocking in the knick of time, and made a heartfelt, handmade gift with my nephew for him to give to his parents, who loved it more than any of their other gifts. My attempts at enjoying the simplicity of the holidays didn’t necessarily work this year, but there is always the next time. And with the happy holiday memories I do have, along with the ones I’d rather forget, I will move forward into 2010 and remember to enjoy it to the fullest …while not burning myself out.

{for more of my baking photos, check out my Flickr}