(drinking tea at Wholefoods, taking advantage of the free wifi, and figuring this whole blog post out)

I try to keep this blog as creatively focused as I can, and although sometimes there is a personal post now and then, I try to steer away from that altogether.  When I first began craft lovely, I gave myself the structure of having half of the posts creatively focused and created by me, and then the other half discussing, complimenting, and sharing other creative folk’s work.  I must be honest with myself that lately I have not been keeping this structure lately.  Although I am a big believer in letting things grow and change if that’s their true course of action, I know that I could be putting in more time developing content for craft lovely.

I remember SouleMama discussing on her blog how so many people would comment about her life and family being portrayed as the ideal family, with seemingly no fights between siblings and no frustrations from her little ones.  She explained that yes, they are much like every other family in the world with their ups and downs, but she uses her blog as a place to focus on the good days, the positive moments, the little things that one might pass by and forget due to the hectic life of a parent of four.  Please note, I was not quoting her verbatim just now (*read her blog post if you’d like the actual quote), but her explanation of her blogging makes complete sense to me.  I think a lot of creative bloggers try to focus specifically on the positive – and really, only the positive… me included.  I try to show a good face to the world, that I’m a designer hard at work on multiple projects (including getting my letterpress freelancing off the ground), but this isn’t the entire story I’m sharing.

I’ve thought a lot over the last few weeks about whether or not to share these thoughts on craft lovely, and I keep coming back to this post – I’m taking this as the sign that I need to write about it.  I’m not good about keeping a journal, but I love the intimate nature of blogging and how a reader can allowed to hear the inner goings-on of a person.  Without getting too personal: Life happens.  Life is confusing, heartbreaking, and stressful – all the while wonderful, bittersweet, and amazing.  This is me coming clean and being honest; telling the full story and not just the parts that I’d like to share.

While I have made huge efforts on getting my website designed, I still haven’t finished it.  Although I have a small table top press, I haven’t been able to work on it as much as I had hoped because I can’t afford the materials at the moment, so it waits.  I have a wonderful camera but haven’t taken a photo in over a month.  My sketchbook and inspiration book sit collecting dust.  As much as I’ve dreamed big with goals of being completely self sufficient creatively and financially, I am probably as far away from that place as I’ve ever been.  Bills, debt, anxiety about the present and the future, all work slowly and corrosively, eating away at all the lofty dreams I’ve had and I’ve come to a point where I feel like I need let it all go and be more practical and realistic.  I know it can be done (working for yourself) and it has been done by so many people, but I’m not so sure at times if it can be done by me.  I have a family member who is not well and still doesn’t have a diagnosis, and they are always heavily on my mind; worrying about their current health and happiness, and always worrying about the future and what will happen, and sad to see what this illness has taken from them.  With my personal and family relationships on my shoulders, I feel a responsibility to provide, and I’m feeling that heat especially right now.  I’ve stopped doing all creative work since late spring, because I felt it was more important to focus on “making a buck.”  In a perfect world I’d have the financial means to start my business and have time and the creative drive to make it happen… but life isn’t that easy.  What I’ve realized this past week though is that cutting off my creativity altogether makes me feel horrible.  I’ve felt colorless, blah, and pretty much vacant, like I’m sleep walking through everyday just to get to the next.  What I thought was a “smart” decision has turned out to be the opposite and it’s made me very unhappy.  Typically I try to look for the meaning in everything, to see what “the universe” is trying to tell me and what my gut instinct is saying, but during the last few months I feel like I can’t hear a thing.  But just when I feel like giving up on everything, I’ve gotten the nicest and most sincere feedback from people on craft lovely and in my life.

This post isn’t meant to be glum (I apologize if it is) or scattered (I’m pretty sure it is), but it’s meant to say that I’ve come around to realize I need to be practical and creative, and I need to find that balance.  Creativity is important to life, and this world wouldn’t be as wonderful without it.  Can you imagine what it would be like without original ideas, concepts, books, movies, architecture and the like?  How horribly boring and monotonous.  I can’t just cut my creativity off, but I should incorporate it into my life, however small it may be, till hopefully I can reach a point where it is the driving force of my life.  I want to thank everyone for their support and compliments, and please know that they mean a lot right now.  For the last few months I have felt anger, frustration and disappointment for what life’s been throwing at me lately.  I tell my husband I feel like I’m on a small rowboat alone and out at sea.  But as high as the waves get, you can not stop trying to paddle; and I need to get back to paddling.  I have a small list of goals, not lofty but reasonable and I want to really commit to them.  When I finish those, I’ll work on a few more.  My hope is that with every little step who knows what will happen.

I wanted to come clean and give a fuller picture of who I am as a designer – as a person – to hopefully help me get back to what I want to accomplish.  And to thank you for your readership, and to promise that I am not giving up on craft lovely any time soon and will work on getting back to that 50/50 content promise I originally made.  Life isn’t easy for anyone, but it’s a wonderful thing to have each other to help guide and support each other along the way.

Thank you craft lovely friends and readers!  Wishing you the best of summer weekends.
-Colleen

I am so excited for this fall’s release of Creative, Inc. by Meg Mateo Ilasco and Joy Deangdeelert Cho.  I have read and re-read my copy of Craft, Inc. several times and find it such an inspiration and wealth of great start-up knowledge.  Click here to pre-order your copy today!

{image shown belongs to Oh Joy!}

This past weekend I had a get together with female friends who are pursuing their own creative line of work, either working for themselves or for others.  I’ve found over the past two years of exploring my path as a designer and letterpress printer, I’ve often needed constructive feedback, business advice from someone who’s been there, or just need that support to keep pursuing my goals (and dreams).  For me personally (this is not obviously not the case for everyone), I’ve found resources such as S.C.O.R.E. or my local chamber of commerce to be very lacking for my line of work.  Most of my experiences with these organizations were all with men that could’ve been my grandfather, and none could really give me the type of support that I was looking for.  I’ve found that networking with other entrepreneurial women to be the most rewarding.  I realized I already had a network of women from different careers and backgrounds who were going through similar experiences as I was, and it could be not only helpful, but incredibly motivating and inspiring to meet and discuss our visions for our careers.  This past weekend for our first meeting, we each discussed our short and long term goals as well as any current projects that we were working on.  We’re going to try to meet monthly, and I’m excited about a group of creative women coming together to help support each other as each of our careers blossoms and grows.

What do you do to stay creative, inspired, and motivated?  Do you belong to any groups or organizations?

{image from my in the garden Flickr group}

It’s been exciting to read about the studio move for Anna Bond and Rifle Paper Co., and this latest update on their blog had great images of where all their hard work is going. I love the chalkboard wall and those red pendant lights.  Their big move is so inspiring!

{images shown belong to Rifle Paper Co.}

Wow.

It’s officially been a full year since I wrote my first post on craft lovely, and it’s been quite an experience to say the least.  I started a blog for many reasons, but the main reason being that I have a creative outlet (at a time when I wasn’t feeling so creative) that I had a commitment to.  I hardly knew if anyone was reading, but the fact that I made it part of my everyday life, Mondays through Fridays, to always post was something that I’m glad that I’ve kept.  There are days when my mind is flooded with ideas of posts, photographs, recipes, designs; and then there are days when I’m doggone tired and realize, “Shoot, I haven’t done my blog post yet.  What on earth am I going to blog about today?“  Not counting the time away I took from the holiday season, I believe I only missed 2 of my five weekly posts over the whole year.  It’s this commitment that I have to myself and to you loyal readers, that I’m most proud of… it’s taught me that whether or not you’re feeling creative, or even feeling in the mood to post, you stick to it.

It’s been extremely fulfilling to write on craft lovely, and I appreciate each and every one of you.  Thank you for your readership, your support (there’s been so much!), your comments and feedback, and most of all your friendship on this little corner of the web.  Here’s to starting off another wonderful year!

~ Colleen

{images in mosaic are from my Flickr}

The girls at Bird and Banner weren’t kidding when they opened their blog post about this website with, “holy wow.”  Dick Sheaff’s collection of vintage stamps, postcards, engravings, packaging labels, business cards and other ephemera is like stepping into the most amazing virtual antique store for designers.  It’s an incredible resource of gorgeous typography, sometimes over-the-top, but always thoughtfully designed items.  This is totally my cup of tea, design-wise.  I feel like a kid in a candy store… I think I’ll be on this site for hours.  Seriously.

PS:  On a corny note, an album specifically for People Holding Fish?  Awesome.

{images shown via Sheaff : ephemera}

A recent post over at Martha’s Crafts Dept. stopped me in my designer tracks.  I’m quite the fan of creating inspirational boards and collages, both virtually on the computer as well on the wall in my workspace.  I also keep a sketchbook which is never for sketching, but is to be used soley for keeping track of inspiring photos, designs, textures, typefaces, and color palettes.  However, I’ve never thought of collecting things to be kept in a box!  The idea of physically going through all of your materials, getting the tactile sensation of ribbon, papers and the like and being able to group them per project?  Well Martha, that is a very good thing.

{images shown belong to The Crafts Dept. and belong to Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia}

Okay, after this post I’ll ease up on spring topics!  Lately when I think of spring, of new beginnings, it has made me think of what I’d like to accomplish this year.  Sort of in the same way you think about what goals you would like to have at the start of a new year, but for me the spring time feels a lot more like something is actually beginning.  New Years always disappointments for me, a sort of fizzle-to-smoke burnout at the end of holiday craziness.  And it never really feels like a new year has begun, just more of the same… winter.

So, I started thinking about what new skills I’d like to learn this year, or what classes I’d like to take to further my knowledge of a certain area.  I’ve decided that if I had a magic wand (and a bottomless bank account) I’d love to take:

1.  A bread making class.  I started making my own bread about 2 years ago and deeply enjoy it.  There is something very basic and satisfying in making bread.  I’ve made many good loaves, but with plenty of bad loaves.  I admit, my Kitchen Aid has helped me too many times with kneading (I know, hand kneading is best), but I want to further my knowledge of bread making and make hearty loaves completely by hand.  (*for amazing bread making books, check out at Peter Reinhart)

{image shown belongs to Martha Stewart Omnimedia, Inc.}

2.  A calligraphy class.  I love good calligraphy and wish I could master pen and ink, or at the very least know how to use them.  I tried to learn on my own last summer and  bought supplies and borrowed a book from the library.  I ended up with a sketchbook full of ink blobs and lines that ran out too soon.  It just seems like one of those things you really need to learn from someone in person and watch how their hand moves with the pen.

{images shown belong to May+Bell}

3.  A sewing class.  Thank god for Home Etc. class in middle school, it’s the only way I’d know how to sew a button or hem a pair of pants.  I never had anyone teach me how to sew and am secretly jealous of those who can make their own clothes or other crafts.  I sort of know how to use the Singer sewing machine my Mom has, but not really.  I’ve made a few things with it, but recently tried to hem jeans on it and could not figure out what I was doing wrong.  It made me realize I really need to learn from someone else and know the in’s and out’s of sewing, not just the very basics.  Plus, I have fabric and half-finished (or half-started, for that matter) projects in my closet with no knowledge of finishing them.

{image shown belongs to SouleMama}

If you could take three classes or learn three new skills this year, what would they be?